Feeling lost: How I found my way back to myself

Feeling lost? You’re not alone. I was originally going to write about finding purpose in life - a monumental topic that feels way too huge for just one blog post. So instead, I decided to focus on something more personal: finding myself.

For most of my life, I’ve struggled with anxiety. Thoughts like, “Am I boring?” or “Why am I not the same person I used to be?” would endlessly circle in my mind. This year, my anxiety reached a peak, and I knew I needed help. I decided to start therapy again, a decision that had been pivotal in my journey of self-discovery.

Understanding my anxiety

As I’ve come to learn, my anxiety stems from growing up in an unpredictable environment. This instability fostered a deep need within me to care excessively about what others think and worry about how they perceive me. It’s been a challenging road, but therapy has helped me understand these patterns and behaviours in a new light. I’m beginning to see that these habits don’t have to define me; I have the power to change them.

A year of change

This year felt like the end of an old life and the beginning of a new one. It was unsettling, as I had lost my old self. My confidence wavered, and I felt out of sync with the person I thought I was. This sense of being lost was compounded by feelings of loneliness. As changes piled up, I found myself avoiding situations that triggered my anxiety.

But then, this summer, I made a decision, I wasn’t going to let life pass me by. I wanted to take control and live fully, rather than merely survive.

Rediscovering myself

Through this journey, I’ve realised that I tire quickly, but I also deeply enjoy spending time with others. Over the years, I’ve become more socially anxious and introverted, but I’ve started to reconnect with my sociable side. I’m learning to step out of my comfort zone more, and say “yes” to opportunities I previously would have shied away from.

One significant realisation is that I’m not as introverted as I once thought – I do enjoy being around people. The key is surrounding myself with the right people, those who uplift and inspire me.

I’ve also committed to a few personal principles. I vow to focus on the positive in others, making an effort to recognise and appreciate their strengths. If I do something unkind, I make sure to apologise. I believe that kindness and respect are foundations of good relationships and a genuine life, and I want to build relationships that are meaningful and lasting.

This year has also been about understanding my own needs and boundaries. If something doesn’t feel right, I’m learning to say no. It’s still a work in progress, but I’ve come to accept that it’s okay to disappointment people sometimes – it’s not my responsibility to make everyone happy.

The importance of self-talk

One major lesson I’ve learned this year is to rethink the way I talk to myself. I now ask myself, “Is this how you would speak to your loved ones?” If the answer is no,  why do I talk about myself that way? I’m not less valuable than anyone else, so I’m working to stop putting myself down. Don’t get me wrong – I still have days when my self-esteem plummets, but it’s a work in progress.

Building quality relationships

One of my love languages is creating deep, quality relationships where the other person feels valued and comfortable. Although I’ve faced tough times, I have a lot of love to give, and I’m learning to show it, even if it’s just through a small genuine compliment. I’ve realised that making time for the people you care about is the best way to show love. It’s so easy to isolate yourself when life gets tough, but that only deepens the loneliness.

Everyone has their own journey, and we can learn so much from each other. My main takeaway is to live with integrity and love.

Embracing the future

As the months go by, I want to experience life more fully. I’m focusing on having honest conversations and building deeper relationships. Not only am I learning about my own love language, but I’m also striving to understand how others express love.

Life can be challenging, but it’s also filled with beautiful moments. I’m learning to enjoy the process instead of living for others’ expectations. In the past, I rarely took time to enjoy my own life, but now I’m trying to create a balance between being there for others and doing what brings me joy.

The past is just one part of my life, but the future holds so much potential. How can I create the life I want? Life is unpredictable, and we never know what’s coming next. But I believe that things will get better, and I’m learning to trust that I’ll always get through the tough moments.

Earlier this year, I felt hopeless and stuck. I constantly compared myself to others, wondering why my life wasn’t moving forward. But now, just a few months later, I’m happier. This shift is largely due to my mindset – I’m focusing less on expectations and more on enjoying the process of life.

I’m also rediscovering old passions I had lost over the years, like photography, watching Bollywood films and old rom coms, blogging, watching YouTube, and taking walks. I’ve learned that it’s okay not to enjoy things because others do. I don’t have to love cooking to be living life correctly -   have my own qualities that make me who I am.

For too long, I felt like I had to tone myself for others, which made me lose confidence. Now, I am embracing who I truly am, flaws and all.

So if you’re feeling lost, remember: It’s okay. The journey to finding yourself is ongoing, and each step brings you closer to understanding who you really are.