Creating my safe space: finding calm by the River Thames

Recently, I’ve been feeling more anxious than usual. When anxiety hits, it feels like my mind is full of audio clutter – so many voices, thoughts, and noise. It’s like chaos inside my head, a relentless storm I can’t switch off.

A couple of weeks ago, I woke up and found myself lying in bed until the afternoon. My flat felt suffocating, so I deep cleaned every corner, hoping to clear some of the mess in my mind. I knew I didn’t want to spend the whole day cooped up, so I made the decision to step outside.

When thoughts become noise

My mind works at a speed no brain should – thoughts racing at a thousand miles an hour, questions popping up: Am I doing okay? Are they annoyed with me? Am I making the right decisions? Breaking out of this cycle, built over twenty years, is exhausting. Anxiety feels like my default setting and shifting away from it takes constant effort.

Recently, I’ve been trying to integrate mindfulness into my life. I’m by no means perfect at it; there are times when I completely forget and just coast through my days. But when anxiety becomes too much, something inside me switches, and I get a wake-up call that it’s time to find peace again. It’s a work in progress, and I’m still figuring out how to make it a routine, but I’m getting there.

Walking it out

One way I’ve previously grounded myself is by walking, something that helped me tremendously during the lockdown days of COVID. I decided to bring it back, aiming to get as many steps in as possible each day, hoping it might do wonders for my mental health again.

I stepped out my flat and headed towards the Royal Docks with Coldplay blasting through my headphones. It was sunset – the sky lit up in vibrant oranges, reflecting off the water, and the cool Thames river breeze brushed against my face. I walked up the Docklands and climbed the seemingly endless steps of the bridge toward the Excel. At the top, I paused at the middle of the bridge, taking in the skyline of London with cable cars gliding overhead.

The power of pausing

I turned off my headphones, closed my eyes, and just stood still, soaking in the river’s breeze and the damp scent in the air. My racing mind slowed, and for the first time in a while, I felt calm and content. Is this what peace is supposed to feel like? I had fewer thoughts racing through my mind, replaced by a gentle reminder: “I’m actually doing okay.” I gave myself an imaginary pat on the back.

I looked around, appreciating a moment I had only dreamed of as a child – escaping my turbulent upbringing and finding peace in a place that felt like a manifestation of my dreams. I may not be at the top of the corporate ladder, but I’ve come so far. I’m becoming more myself, living independently, and feeling more confident each day.

Creating my safe space

This walk brought me back to a safe space I often talked about with my therapist – a place by the water, somewhere to breathe and reflect. Oddly enough, I am not a water sign, but being near rivers or the sea always brings me peace. Even when at university, I’d sit by a little lake to think and make decisions I thought were monumental at the time. That water was my clarity, my meditation, my escape.

Do you have a safe space you go to when feeling overwhelmed? For me, it’s these quiet reflective moments by the water, where the noise in my head quiets down, and I can just be. These moments have become my meditation. They remind me that while anxiety may be a part of my life, peace is too. It’s about finding balance - about knowing that on the other side of chaos, there is calm. And that’s something worth holding onto.

The importance of small wins

My mum’s sister often says, “This is life – there’s no more to it. It's all in the now” This phrase really hits me. Even if we climb the ladder higher, we’ll always have problems. The trick is to find the small wins and be content with what we have. Material things come and go, but your internal happiness is something that can be nurtured and cultivated to create a lasting sense of contentment.

That’s why finding your safe place, or taking moments to pause, is so important. In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to forget to prioritise yourself. Make time for the things that bring you peace. Sometimes, just putting on your headphones and listening to your favourite song can help. Or if you enjoy cooking, cooking your favourite meal and watching your favourite film.

Finding joy in the little things

Life can be tough, but discovering those little gems in between the chaos can make all the difference. They are the things you return to when you’re feeling drained, the things that make life worth it. So, next time you’re outside, try to feel the textures of the leaves on a tree or the autumn breeze against your face.

The most important thing in life is to be present. As someone with anxiety, I know how difficult that can be, especially when you’re constantly thinking of worst-case scenarios. But being present, and finding joy in even the smallest of moments, is what makes life beautiful. It’s a lesson I’m learning day by day, one step at a time.

In the end, life isn’t about escaping the storms, but about finding those peaceful moments within them. We can’t control everything, but we can create spaces where we feel grounded, safe, and at peace with ourselves. And that’s the real win – the ability to find the calm in the chaos, and to know that no matter what, you’re doing just fine.